Feeling lousy, with coffee in hand, I pull out my laptop to write a few words. It’s 5 o’clock in the morning. My brain feels like it’s in a fog of numbness and I feel disinterested and irritated. The last thing I feel like doing is writing as normally I wait to feel good and inspired before imparting any “words of wisdom”. Insert a tone of sarcasm here. I am deciding to write from within my lousy feelings, and instead of going within (meditating) and/or pulling out my journal to process I will share right here and now.
Something happened from yesterday to today as I went from feeling pretty darn good to … well … feeling crappy. The what happened doesn’t really matter as much to me now however the fact that my feelings are as they are, now, is what’s important. In this very moment I have a choice to do something about my feelings, or not. Even my observation of them is doing something. My choices range from wallowing in self pity, being with or watching my feelings during meditation or I can actively turn the feelings around by putting pen to paper and writing appreciations or intuitions that arise, and feeeel my way out. All of us process feelings differently however in this moment sharing through writing feels right.
If anyone were to try to help me be happy by saying that “I can do it” or that “I can change my life” I would most likely want to tell them to (insert swear word here). If Tony Robbins was in front of me right now giving me his rah-rah I would probably want to kick him in the ass. Well probably not, he’s bigger than I am and I’m a big fan but you get my point. In truth if he really was in front of me I would give him a bear hug and ask if he would be interested in a beer and a good chat. Any kind of big positivism right now would most likely be too much for me to handle. All of our moods carry energy and when a greater energy is introduced to a down mood (or lower vibration) it will most likely be repelled by us. In this very moment I feel down (and therefore of a certain energy) and in order to pull myself out and feel better the best thing for me to do is introduce slightly better feeling thoughts or activities. It’s the gradual feeling better that often works best as it’s more believable and your mind and body will be less apt to reject the information.
My process to feel better may change depending on the day however I do have certain methods that are tried and true. Awareness and acknowledgement of my thoughts and feelings are paramount. In this moment I usually give a nod of appreciation and thank them for alerting me to the fact that I am off balance and not connected my highest state of being.
Feelings are so very important, so important in fact that that they are THE indicators that all humans have to let them know where they are in relation to their inner self. Lousy feelings are good, very good, and it’s OK to feel these feelings.
No need to hide from them, they are what they are. I also know that I have done nothing ‘wrong’ and that I am not ‘bad’ because of my lousy feelings. Feelings are meant to be felt and not judged. They are to be honoured. Besides, why would you judge your primary guidance system on how you are doing in relation to living a happy life? Ya gotta wonder.
Meditation, or simply being quite (you don’t even need to call it meditation) is an excellent way to observe your feelings thus providing a little bit of space between the you that is observing and the feeling. It gives you the opportunity to realize the perhaps you are not your feelings. Yes, you are experiencing them but they are not you, and they don’t define you. Do this for awhile and see/feel what happens. Mediation is the number one way to give space between your feelings, and the real you.
Journaling, something I have enjoyed for over 25 years, is another incredible way to learn more about your thought and emotional process. Let loose and express your thoughts and feelings to their fullest. Vomit on paper if you have to…let it all go. When done, you can walk away (giving space) from your writing for awhile then return to reread it. You may be shocked to realize what has been really going on in your head, and you may also notice that some of the things that you have been writing are in fact not true at all.
The last process I wish to share is appreciation. From whatever feeling that you are in there is something to appreciate. Begin by appreciating the feeling itself because therein lies the jewel to your recovery and return to your heart. No matter how dark you feel you can still in some way acknowledge that something is good, and you can start by giving yourself a pat on the back to becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings. Without awareness you will stay in your funk for long periods of time and you will most likely repeat the same patterns throughout your entire life. You can event appreciate…your breath. If you “only” focused on your breath, watching it go in and out…in and out, and repeat this for ten minutes, or as long as you can handle it, you will discover information within you that you never knew existed. This and this alone could help you to feel incredibly good over time and could even transform your life.
Awareness, journaling and appreciation are three powerful tools that will greatly help anyone return to heart. Yes, grossly oversimplified as volumes have been written about each of these techniques, I just wanted to give you a taste of some of the tools in my toolbox that has helped me immensely. If any of these resonate with you I recommend that you not only try them but research more about them as they are worlds unto themselves. These are just some tools and there are many many more, and only you will know what resonates with you.
Just to let you know I began writing this piece yesterday morning, and this morning I completed it. What I noticed yesterday is that by the end of my writing I felt a little bit better. I felt a certain lightness. Now, I feel even better. I did it (insert the visual of me patting myself on my back)! I transformed my lousy feelings of yesterday to the lighter more buoyant feels I am experiencing now. My wish for you is a heart-felt life journey and know that change is just over the horizon if you so choose. You are the captain of your ship!
Copyright, Peter Paul Harnisch (2018). www.myawarelife.com.